Active Communication and Problem Solving for Couples

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Make a list of the difficulties you two encounter in communicating, and decide which effective communication techniques you would like to employ. Spend roughly 30 minutes each utilizing “I” statements to discuss a somewhat challenging subject. After describing how they feel when their partner does something, the speaker should move on to what they actually need. The listener should demonstrate empathy, paraphrase what the other is saying, and let them know they share their perspective. The goal is to discuss a problem and be able to understand it from your partner’s point of view. The objective is not to “right fight” or “right argue” about your position being right but rather being able to see things from your partner’s view. Both of you should practice being both the speaker and the listener.

Spend around 30 minutes discussing the primary cause of conflict that you each have regarding the relationship or regarding the other. Write down what your main source of conflict is and then which plan or approach you will take to avoid or settle this conflict or another conflict. It will be crucial to adhere to the communication procedures described above once more. Write up a real strategy for how you will address the issue when it arises after adding to this flow of discussion the resolution you both decide to use to manage the conflict. Consider making a commitment to stick to your plans by signing a document.

It’s critical that you can negotiate disagreements in your marriage. The marriages that struggle the most are those whose conflicts are not resolved. Conflict resolution skills and success are usually mutually exclusive. If any of you gets agitated during this conversation, remember to take a pause. Please resume, find harmony, and develop a strategy once you have cooled down. Keep in mind that you must choose a disagreement and work to fix it with the other person.

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