Our Lee County Florida Premarital Preparation Online Course ($19.99) helps you ensure your partner is right for you. Our Florida online premarital preparation course is approved and certified in all 67 counties of Florida. Our course saves you $32.50 on your marriage license and allows you to avoid the three day wait. In addition to taking our Premarital online counseling course whether you are in Lee County or another Florida county, we suggest that you read the following article about whether “birds of a feather flock together” or “opposites attract” which was written by our Psychology Intern from the University of North Florida, Brett Wallace.
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Dijkstra and Barelds (2008) conducted a study in which they wanted to see what people want in a romantic partner. The results showed that people tend to go for partners that are similar to them personality wise. When asked whether people wanted a complimentary or similar person as a romantic partner, most people said complimentary. This seems contradictory at first, but, as the researchers noted, participants may thought about this question separate from personality. This brings up the question: “What is more important for a long-term relationship? Similarity or complimentary?”
Researchers frequently look at how homogamy predicts the probability of a romantic relationship. Homogamy follows the principle of “birds of a feather flock together” (Sterbova & Valentova, 2012). Sterbova & Valentova (2012) noted that homogamy increased marital satisfaction and had a longer marriage. As to the reason people seek out individuals like them, Sterbova & Valentova argued that the reason for homogamy may be due to increased altruism between and for the couples and to an increase in the likelihood of passing on ones genes. Moreover, we are more likely to assist others that seem similar to us, and we tend to be more motivated to help those that are more similar to us. Together, this facilitates our genes and genes similar from continuing in the gene pool. However, extreme homogamy (romantic relationship between relatives) seems to be naturally undesirable.
Castro, Hattori, & Lopes (2012) looked into how people pick a romantic partner. In their study they found that males tended to fit the idea that men go for women for their physical appearance. Women on the other hand, went for men that are similar to them in personality. At the very least this provides evidence that women prefer a person that is similar to them. Lucas et al (2004) conducted a study of cultures in relation to homogamy. The cultures studied were American, British, Chinese, and Turkish. The results of this study were relatively similar, with couples with a high level of homogamy being more satisfied. Some discrepancies seemed to exist between cultures, though. The studies hypothesizes that this is due to culture norms.
So overall homogamy seems to play a decent role in how people decide who they will date and marry. So in the end “birds of a feather flock together” more than “opposites attract”, at least when it comes who we end up with at the end of the day.
Castro, F. N., Hattori, W. T., Lopes, F. A. (2012). Relationship maintanance or preference satisfaction? Male and female strategies in romantic partner choice. Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology, 6(2), 217-226
Dijkstra, P. & Barelds, D. P. H. (2008). Do people know what they want: A similar or complementary partner? Evolutionary Psychology, 6, 595-602
Lucas, T. W., Wendorf, C. A., Imamoglu, E. O., Shen, J., Parkhill, M. R., Weisfield, C. C., & Weisfield, G. E. (2004). Marital satisfaction in four cultures as a function of homogamy, male dominance and female attractiveness. Sexualities, Evolution & Gender, 6, 97-130.
Sterbova Z. & Valentova (2012). Influence of homogamy, complementarity, and sexual imprinting on mate choice. Anthropologie, 1, 47-59
We do hope that you decide to take our Florida Lee County Premarital Preparation Course. You will find it chock full of information about creating a successful marriage from the beginning. Remember, that in order to do so, it’s important to know what you are doing and how to do it. Marriage is a difficult but rewarding journey. You will set yourself up for success by taking our Florida premarital preparation online course.
Best of Luck!
Dr. Justin D’Arienzo, Board Certified Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert
Florida Licensed Psychologist